Harris fell off bed, two times!

Friday morning. Me, at the last junction before reaching my office, 8am, husband called.

"Ina, Harris jatuh katil!"

I shoot home & we went to clinic.

So husband falls asleep after I went to work, because Harris was fast asleep too. And the next thing he knew, he heard a thump and Harris's crying but he's nowhere to be found on the bed, but the floor. He didnt even realized when Harris wakes up. Usually Harris would wake us up once he's up but not that day.

Saturday afternoon. Husband went to work, me at home, while breastfeeding Harris, I fell asleep too. And the next thing I knew, I heard Harris crying and he was on the floor, again!

A reckless parents we have been. But couldnt deny the fact that Harris is very active & just couldnt stay put. Prepping him after bath would be disastrous. I would be screaming and making funny faces and sounds just to make him focus to me so I could put his diapers on. Which obviously lasted for only 3 seconds. Then he would be attracted to some other things. Like, his changing mat, wet wipes, and everything in between. He just love his tummy time so much that even if I gave him whatever he had his eyes on just to keep on lying down, he'll just throw it away and giving himself a reason to grovel again. He's hyperactive. Hence, falling off bed.

Alhamdulillah, he doesnt show any symptoms of concussion or internal bleeding. But two days in a row? I cant no longer put him on the bed, alone. He's just too fast.

Harris today? Still active as ever. Alhamdulillah. We just have to be extra careful and aware of his whereabouts, all the time. He might even be awake the second you fall asleep. So beware.

Wasalam. Love, Nina. ♥

New phase and I hope I am not too late.

Well, its not my first time of having another blog. I had two before this. Erm... three to be exact. One is wordpress. But I stay devoted to blogspot and ya girl lazy ass of moving or making a new blog whatsoever. So I've decided, I am gonna make another blog, from blogspot. Previous two? Well lets just say, its a phase. I'm not gonna update all three, I'm just gonna make it private and keep for future reads. I'm not gonna delete everything though. Not that I havent moved on, I just need to know how bad I was before so I could be better. A gentle and tough reminder for me. And I fancy re-reading everything. Well at least my blog have a dedicated fan, me.

And I always feel inspired to blog, every single time. I blog my life, what I want to keep in record, my memories. But previous blog, well I have my fair share of bitching people and I dont want to keep everything drafted too. Hence, another blog, another phase. Its funny though.

My first blog was during my high school days. My rants about my post-spm life. Taking driving license, bowling stuffs whatnot. My second blog, more on my college life, my heartbreaks, my meltdowns, up until emo-ish post during pregnancy, everything. And now this, my third, I started it with my motherhood journey. My final sharing of my pregnancy and motherhood. So I posted back whatever in my previous blog, starting from that, here. My previous blog was named Hannah Mikayla towards the end of the final chapter so most of the final posts have my initials, H.

I blog for fun, and I have no constraints over what to blog whatsoever. I just. Blog. I mean, that's what blog is supposed to be, right? My opinion though.

Forever missing this little baby cikenit 

Anyways, here's to myself. Love, Nina. ♥

Sunday night

I know I should be doing something at the moment. Like; get dinner, do skincare routine, fold laundry and what not. But here I am, blogging (not that its wrong though). I thought of blogging about my baby's weaning journey and how lovely it is but right now, like literally right now, husband went out with my brother to accompany his brother in law to buy sofa. Get it? So me, was thinking of driving to Family Mart with baby sister & Harris but Harris is now fast asleep. No joke waking him up would be devastating. Cranky baby? Just no. Lets just leave him to it. And I couldnt do any long post because Harris might awake and ruin my posting-blog-post vibes. Blogging need vibes too. Its not Harris, its just me.

So I texted my baby sister, Zira and invited her to lepak in my room, to have our masking night. It would be fun too, right? Well I've always enjoyed spending time with her. Since I dont have much close friends other than Anis & my #saujaniansisters aka jemahs, so yeah, I am really grateful that I have my baby sister that I superbly comfortable with. Like super. As in I could just blurt out I wanna fart and I would fart to her face. Whew Zira, you're a gem. And I'm just a germ. Pfffttt.

Anyways, remember my new handbag? I just realized I lost the key-chain. Sobbing hard. It must've dropped somewhere.

Wow really I have so much to blog but I could just point it out here.

1. I bought my husband a new shoes.
2. I start giving Harris some food.
3. I didnt shed any weight but I just got even more skinnier.
4.. I need new carpet.
5. We had shopping for Harris's feeding kit. Nothing fancy haul. Still under tight budget.
6. Setiawangsa's Thai Food Fest, awesome. Insert flying money emoticon.

I guess that's it? 6 items is pretty much good. I find myself so hard to remember things nowadays. I even spent few minutes recalling what I did yesterday. Mummy's bad memory.

Okay, looks like Harris's awake now. Gotta lullaby him to.. Okay no need, he's back to sleep. Still waiting for Zira to come down. She said jap, nak mandi and I'm aging right here. Duhhh.

I'm just so lazy to work tomorrow. Ahhh whatever.

Wasalam. Love, H. ♥

Baby weaning starter kit

You know, I kinda HAVE to google that. Haha.

A week more before Harris's monthly birthday and he's turning 6 months and its time for weaning! Actually we already start feeding him a bit of fruits and organic food and he loves it so much. I can see that he's an eater, just like mummy. You know he tends to become so attracted to food. He cooed so much when he saw us eating, wanting to eat so bad. And #mummyguilt kicks in because I am sooooo scared of trying to feed him. There's no actual time when the baby can start weaning. As long as the baby can digest, in sha Allah its allowable. But just me, still wants to wait until he reach 6 months and day 1. Yesterday's appointment I did ask the doctor whether I could start giving him food, doctor said yes. And maybe I'll try?

Giving myself a smack in the face. 

Harris is turning 6 months in less than a week! And I am going to start on solid food for him. Is this for real??? Smacks head again.

And this means, SHOPPING. Bowl, spoon, all those colorful ones. Omg so much to choose! And I am getting excited. Harris now are progressing so much. He knows his nap time, sleeping time, feeding time. And he's starting to crawl now. He took his first step in front of hubs at a clinic. Sigh. While trying to run away from the doctor. Sheesh. I missed that. And I aint gonna miss his first feeding solid food time. Nu-uh.

Why is the time flying so swiftly?

P/S: If one day I die, Harris please know I blogged so much of my lives and feel free to read it. ONLY after I die, okay baby? I am not gonna let you judging me hard.

Wasalam. Love, H. ♥

Harris's check up & misc things we do

Yesterday was Harris's check up in HUKM. Just a follow up for his surgical wounds and condition after operation. This one is quite different because its quite far from our house and it requires the both of us. Unlike for KK appointment. That one I sure can go alone and handle things on my own. And you can refer my previous post: Harris is 4 months where I shared my tips and do's.

For HUKM, things are pretty much slower there. And Harris is scheduled for the morning session, and you know how hard is it to be on time in the morning. Depends if Harris wakes up in the early morning or not. And it took us almost an hour to reach there. Thankfully husband's office is just nearby so he doesnt need to take leave. He could just enter late after helping me out with the registration whatnot before leaving me with Harris.

The earliest we would get ready is around 7.30 - 8.00 AM. So we'll arrive there around 8.30 - 9.00 AM. Since things are slower there, I cant really depend on baby carrier. I have to take stroller in too. And too bad, from the parking lot, they are not that stroller friendly. They have stairs and I cant be holding Harris and carrying stroller at the same time. So yeah, I need husband. Once I am in, and after submitting his card, it would take nearly an hour before they would call up our name to give our number. Depends on the people traffic.

Yesterday, we arrived around 9.00 AM and we got our number around half an hour after. Still. And we went to weigh Harris. Thankfully yesterday was less crowded. Reaching to the other side of the waiting place, where Harris's number would be called up, we wait. So this is when husband went and get me some bread and breakfast before he left for work. I love it there since its less crowded on that waiting area and nursing room is just next to it. And there's beds, and seats for breastfeeding and stroller friendly. The area is big. Waiting game is no joke though. But I am fine as long as I have food and stroller & great area. But I always keep everything within reach because handling an infant alone, means you cant leave for toilet visits, AT ALL. So I make sure I emptied my bladder before husband left for work. And I love that the doctor's room is wide enough for stroller. Unlike HKL, the doctor's room is quite small. Of course, there's pros and cons.

Harris on the bed, as usual, playing around.

Harris is the kind of baby that fancies golek-golek. Especially when he want to take a nap or sleep. He requires his own space. But too bad, he doesnt want to take a nap. But he dreads for it. So I get him into the stroller and stroll around until he fell asleep. 

Our number was called up a while after, nearing the afternoon. And the meeting was short. Just a follow up. Its a requirement since Harris's possibility to get malrotation again is there. Doakan yang baik-baik. And after that I waited for husband to pick us up. 

"Sayang, bole tak kalau syg drive balik dgn Harris? Nanti petang amik abg dari office, bole? Teringin nak wife amik balik keje." 

Gila cheesy. Ceh. But yea, I'm okay with it. The real reason because he got some issues at work that is urgent. So yea, I drove back home. 

I arrived home with Harris sleeping. Stayed a while in the car before I become so sleepy and had to take him up. The reason why I dont want to disturb his sleep because he normally would wake up once carried. So I gave him some time to get power nap. 

I gave him a bath, breastfeed him, and golek-golek afterwards. I was darn sleepy, while he still wants to play around. Thankfully Zira came down and accompany Harris while I get a power nap. Harris falls asleep around 3.50 PM and I have to drive to hubs office around 4.30 PM to avoid traffic jams. End up, we left around 5.00 PM and still managed to arrive on time (?) 

While waiting for husband. That's Zira at the back because she wants to tag along since she wanted to belanja us Boost drinks. Hehe.

Driving back home would be crazy at that hour because of the massive traffic jams. Well, we actually have everything planned out at the first place, so..... Sunway Velocity Mall it is!

Yeap, they have Boost booth there. Yay! And Family Mart! Double yay! Had Oden, two times & tried their ice creams. Safe to say, I fulfilled my late night cravings.

We spent quite some time there, browsing, window shopping. But I just dont have the mood to do so. I asked husband if we could go back quite early because the traffic might have subside.

"Eh cepatnya nak balik? Selalu bukan awak rajin nak window shopping?"

Well yea.... 

1. Paycheck still not in.

2. Thinking of going to The Face Shop but just discovered I have a bunch of moisturizer still unused. So...

3. Husband bought me new shoes and handbags which I fully satisfied with, what more can I ask?? 

We arrived home around Maghrib and I quickly bathe Harris and get him ready for bed. 

P/S: Dear Harris, please know that we dont usually go to malls on weekday so its an exemption. Its so not gonna happen on school days. Definitely no. 

P.P/S: Please ignore the above P/S if it happens. Exemptions are for urgent things. 

Wasalam. Love, H. ♥

Luggage

We were on our way to JB. Our initial plans was a one night vacation at Cameron Highlands. But being the good wife,

"Dari kite pegi Cameron, better kite dahulukan balik kg awak dulu kan, dah lama tak balik" 

Ecececeeeee. But true though. Last time we went back was few months back, I was 7 month pregnant, I think? 

Plus, me & husband was having a crisis at work and life adjustments whatnot so I guess, seeing his parents would subside his stress and mine too. And its Harris's first time to Johor, outside my tummy of course. 

So Saturday morning, I wake husband up, packed our stuffs. I packed all our 3 beranak stuff inside a luggage. A medium sized ones. Just enough for one night stay. And thank god I didnt pack any valuable stuffs inside there. Alhamdulillah. Because what happens next, really I was deeeeeeeeeeeply grateful that I only pack clothes & a bit of my skincare inside the luggage. 

Inside our car arrangement. Well, Viva je kan, of course it'll be crowded. Bonet, Harris's stroller. And nothing else. We have such small space :( Back seat, me & Harris's seated inside the car seat. My handbag, Harris's bag pack. So I could reach for his things easier. Front seat, Fir as the driver and on the passenger's seat, under it he placed our luggage. 

Journey began. Our car's air-cond began heating up. Something's not right. So husband kept on checking. Including taking our luggage out from under the passenger's seat to check under the dashboard. We had few pit stops. Almost at all RnR and hentian sebelah and also few stops along the highway, means tepi jalan. Checking on the air-cond. 

We were talking & everything. Harris's getting bored. He threw down most of his toys. He just wont sleep. And I fell asleep. And then......

At hentian Kulai, around an hour and a half before reaching husband's home. It was around in the afternoon. Tummy so hungry and wishing we could arrive just in time for lunch (or late lunch). Somehow husband shrieked. 

"ASTAGHFIRULLAH, LUGGAGE KITE TERTINGGAL KT MANA?" 

Me, being half asleep. 

"WHAT? MANA PEGI?"

And next thing we know, husband turns back, couldnt even recall where he might left off the luggage, either tepi jalan or at RnR or hentian sebelah. He just dont know. He turned back, looking for the luggage. Damn we spent so much money wey. Back and forth. With hungry tummy. We were arguing so much in the car. I cant brain it. Called Plus Highway. And me, still fighting with husband, trying to recall is there any valuables inside there. 

Duhhhh of course everything is valuable. Bra aint cheap y'know. 

Fast forward. I was pissed off. My Dr Belmeur moisturizer is still 90% full inside that luggage k. Me being the terrible wife, shrugged him off on everything. Demanded to drop by at Mydin to get some things. Some attire. Of course I have few stuffs in his house but its for Harris. His pampers. Attire. Thank god we have few in his bag pack but to last a night, not enough. We arrived at his house around 7.30 PM. 

Tired. Hungry. Pissed off. 

It was really annoying and disappointing. Of course, I cant totally blame that on him y'know. But. I dont know. We end up spending 2 nights there. I took an Emergency Leave on Monday because my father in law was sick and we wanted to wait until he confirms his operation whatnot. And I just want to give space for my husband to chill and relax after what happened. 

So there goes our luggage....

Up until now, no news. Probably someone took it already. Silently chanting, I wont halalkan whatever they took. Bad person I am. But (after kne ceramah by my mom) I have to redha. A reminder for myself to always be grateful. And at least I have reasons to buy things. Still sad over my Dr Belmeur moisturizer though. And that pleated pants I came to love after a while. Husband's 2 brand new shirt. Dreading over everything weyyyyy. Haihhh. Redha. 

So yeah, baju tiga beranak hilang. 

Well, probably all our belongings will be put into good use. And probably they needed more than I do. But still, whoever took it, it is still a sinful thing to do. And the judgement is not up to me. Me as a human, have to redha. 

Bye luggage. You served me well.

Wasalam. Love, H. ♥ 

Surprise

I cant really tell what I feel with surprises. I love it & dread for it, but I dont like my husband spending money over it. Get it?

You know I've been contemplating of getting new shoes. I dont know what should I get. Sandals? Slip-ons? Ballerinas? Heels? Platforms? I cant decide. A lot of thought and being the cheapskate person I am, I always thought why waste much. And I loveeeeee platforms butttt I find myself so lazy to wear them to work. Cut short, I have so many issues when it comes to shoes. Plus, my mom gave me a bunch of Clarks shoes she doesnt want to wear anymore. So I have like, a lot. Really, a lot.

And I have the same issues with bags. I have, loads. And I still feel unsatisfied. Maybe because I didnt get the ones I really wanted. My latest handbag would be the Oroton which is nice, but why is the insufficient feeling still kicks in? And yea, I shrugged it off. Because I need to make full use of the bags I have now.




And then one day, a text came in....

"Sayang, kasut ina size berapa?"

*Gulp* Know why? Because husband is currently roaming around in the mall, alone, while waiting for peak hour to pass as he's uber-ing home. And I know as much as I love surprises from him, but I also hate the fact that he will be spending a lot of money for me. I just dont find it very pleasant. I dont know whyyyy.

And he called me, asking what kind of shoes I want. Tetttt wrong question. You know its the hardest question, ever! According to him, he HAVE to call me up because he's afraid he might got the wrong size. Well, the epitome of my feet, so hard to find good ones that fits. It was a lot of arguments because my size depends on the type of shoes. In the end, he said, "nevermind, I'll pick whichever I love" & you know what, its the most pleasant answer that soothes my heart, de-clutter my mind. Because, I know whatever he pick, even if I dont really love it, the feeling of my-husband-loves-to-see-me-wearing-this is just perfect!

Tick tock tick tock

Hence, a surprise. The shoes was not what I expected but its what he picked and I believe, I will come to love it even more. And the most surreal feeling is, THE BAG. I mean, guys, look at The Bag. It is what I've dreamed of weyyy. I mean, after I used the bag, I feel complete. No more browsing around for other kind of bag. Its just, perfect. I mean, its not leather, its not what I picked either. Its just what my husband bought for me and it completes me. Both of it are perfect. I'M IN LOVE. Not that I didnt love him before. But cant I say I fell in love, again?

And so, I am using this bag to work (I know I should wait for raya) but who cares? Husband said I can use it now!

After that, I insisted him to tell me the price. But he made me promise not to transfer any money to his bank account, silently. Haha. Its just me guys. I feel im in debt. And I dont like it. But I have to obey husband's order too, so....

Thank you husband, thank you soooooooooo muchhhhhhhh! I love you forever!

And no more roaming around in the mall, alone.

Wasalam. Love, H. ♥

Insecure

To be honest, I dont feel quite safe in twitter, facebook, everywhere in my social medias anymore. I would just rant here, in my blog. Still being kept private. For some reason, I just hate exposing my life to the world anymore. I've blocked few people from my facebook and instagram, my twitter & blog is private. And to be honest, I still feel unsafe. You know, everybody is fighting a different battle. You cant expect everybody to fight them with how you would. And everybody deserve to be treated with equality. Fairly, to be exact. No one should be judged in whatever they rant about in social medias. Everybody have opinions and we should respect everyone on that matter. I know we cant shut people's mouth but the least we could do is have respect.

Just because you have an easy pregnancy, no sickness or even if there is, you could handle it, dont compare with other people that may have it worst, or have lower pain threshold than you. 

Just because you had things easier, or you can adapt better, dont expect other people to do so too. Just stop comparing.

Different people have it in a different way. They have different struggles, different meltdowns, different everything. Just because we do it in our own way, that doesnt seem pleasant to your eyes, doesnt mean its wrong. Dont simply point our faults because we do it in our own way. Give us space to learn. To see what's right and wrong. And just because you dont like it, doesnt mean it is wrong.

So what if other people had it the easy way? Stop comparing, stop complaining, stop everything. 

Believe that everything is rezeki. Other people have different struggles, different rezeki. Please help yourself to see between the lines. Be grateful of the little things. Other people experience all kind of ways to adapt, to learn. Just because you learn it the hard way, you cant expect we to have it the same way you did. 

Be grateful of whatever you have. We might had some things easy and struggle on other stuffs. 

Tuhan jadikan rezeki tu dalam bermacam cara. Bersyukurlah. 

Wasalam. Love, H. ♥

Part of me

This is random. I dont normally on the laptop at this hour. Usually I would already be in bed, or play around with Harris or join hubs watching movies. Since hubs is out working and Harris asleep early today (I should to though) But I was blog walking this evening and came across a blog that pretty much reminds me of what I used to want during my college life. I enjoy studying, I just dont like the environment of my university. I've always wanted to live outside Malaysia, study abroad. Most probably because I am that brisk-walking, beach, tea in a park kinda person and living here quite in the middle of the city, aint that promising for a girl like me. But deep down, I still keep that wish buried. And I feel like one day I want to work abroad. I dont know. I still havent figure life out yet. I feel contented with life and I am loving every single day. I just want to achieve what I've been longing for. Well anyways, just a night thought. Random. I wont say that my life sucks though. I have literally everything and still chasing. I love making do of whatever I have now. Maybe I just gotta add few sparkles to make my life a lot more interesting. And I vow to do so. So that I wont regret anything in life. 

Anyways. I came across a good deal in fave. Hubs got a hair problem. His hair just wont grow. So I bought a deal in Fave for Yun Nam Hair Care. So on Saturday, I scheduled an appointment for him in MidValley and took him for a 2-hour deep treatment. Well, because I had my trip to saloon and he did such great job at taking care of Harris. He's been doing that for many times already so I guess I owe him a leisure time. And yes, to solve his hair problems. Haha. So me and Harris had a good time on our own. Its not that easy to take care of an infant alone in a mall and I salute how my husband deals with it every time I went shopping with my baby sister. Hubs offers himself to take Harris to the baby room, handle him most of the time and only pass him to me during feeding time. Ohh how blessed I am. 

On Sunday, we had Abg Zaidi's reception and the day started early. I woke up for Subuh and prepared everything. Breastfeed Harris, prepare the clothes and bags and everything. While hubs, accompanying Harris continuing his sleep. Harris was too tired, prolly because he had a long day on Saturday so he kinda wanna continue sleeping. But we had to wake him up. After several attempts though. I had the mummy feeling dont wanna wake you up because you're so cute sleeping therefore the tasks of waking him up is to papa. I got ready first since (according to hubs) I took long time to get ready. So hubs gave Harris a bath and I let him bathe after while I prep Harris. 

Harris has been such a very good baby. Has he not always been good? Its so easy to handle him. He get cranky only when he's sleepy. Other than that? Nothing. He'll just cracks up over cak-cak and especially when his cousin's around..

THE FOREVER BRIDE (us in our solemnization outfit) 

We hardly have photo with Harris because he's either asleep or Asu kidnap him. 

Harris was taking his power nap so the parents just reminiscing the moment *insert blow nails emoticons* 

Just ootd-ing. 

The forever yummy fingers. I bought him a teether though. He just throw it away. Ceh.

The forever twins.

The bride(s) and groom(s) Yeap, still self proclaiming. Hehe.

The family photo. 

That pretty much sums up our weekend. We had family dinner that night. Just normal cooking and eat all together all of us. And Harris was darn sleepy but his cousins around so he refused to sleep until all went home. 

I woke up today feeling all tired up. Really. I didnt even realize how I fell asleep up until I startled up around 5.00 AM for isya'. I still continue my sleep afterwards and finding it hard to wake up for Subuh. Really need to fix on my biological clock and routine. Not to mention I missed few days of PM skincare routine. Damn I am soooo lazy. 

I am now in the mak-mak phase so I have this one wishlists. I even dream about it. I wish I have like sooooo much money that I can buy it. 

I really wish they're like few more months before March's endingggg. So I could have more time to gain money and end my cravingssss. So mak-mak.

I dont give a damn face last Friday ft Oroton bag in the background because I am me.

Harris's face when its past bedtime and he refuses to sleep. 

Going to work nowadays is suchhhhh a hassle now. I get bored. But nope, I am just gonna act professional and do whatever task given, not giving a damn of what people think of me. I am not a bad person, just a victim of other people's badmouthing. 

And since I am sleep-deprived, I am going to wash my face, pray and go straight to bed. Being a mother makes me appreciate all the free time. Hence, blogging too. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥

Weekend

Its been a very long weekend for us since we had Abg Zaidi's solemnization and wedding on the girl's side. And now, I am currently feeling a bit feverish and runny nose. But here I am, still at work. I was planning to get MC today but canceled it last minute. I dont know how long I could take it. I slept late last night since my body condition, my lack appetite and what not slows down my milk production so I waited few hours before bed to pump some more for Harris. Plus, he's been consuming milk quite a lot these past days, due to the hot weather I think. So I have to produce more. Hence, I gotta eat more. But my sore throat, makes me dont want to eat. So I opted for herbs to drink. I hate it, thus, a mother gotta do what a mother gotta do. Sacrifices. 

And writing this, my eyes are nearly closed. With runny nose, sore throat, heavy eyes, sore body everything. Not cool guys, not cool.

The forever twins with so much year difference.

Half body OOTD ft Harris's yummy legs.

Full body OOTD ft Harris. And that's the shoes I bought over the cant-fit-vincci-shoes.

Solemnization.

The forever bride hehe.

 Okay joking. 

The most-celebrated-bride&groom-of-the-day

The forever twins, again. Haha.

The whole Kajang clan, with some add-on and a lot missing out. There were actually several pictures and no joke I picked the worst ones. Hahaha.

The forever blur-faced Harris with the most lovely parents in a whole wide world. 

Yours truly. Wearing nearly 10 years back baju raya which I still fit!

Zira's OOTD. And tonnes more photo inside my phone.

Its been few days been wearing heels and even going to work, I wear platforms. So today, its my most laziest day. I wear sandals and half wrinkled uniforms. My ironing is worst today. And dont feel okay. Therefore, I'm gonna keep my sweater's on all day. I was thinking of dropping by at the clinic today but so lazy to move. So here I am, blogging this. This week's gonna be a long week too since we'll be having our side's reception at Crystal Crown Hotel. I neeeeeddd enough rest. And 3 more days to go to end the week! 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥ 

Just because

I braced myself to go to the dentist because I just had enough of pains already. I just want my teeth to get better. Spent so much, and gonna spend so much more because I am doing root canal to salvage my teeth. 2 tooth got extracted. Painful but as long as it wont cause so much pain already.

And had a very boring & headache & dramatic week. So I learn now that lets just dont care. And today, im not gonna ruin my day by posting about them. They dont even deserve a part of me.

The best thing about having a baby is you are soooo far away from being moody at all. Even though things at work sucks, coming back home to my baby is a blessing. How can you be mad when your baby smiles seeing your face? And the feeling of breastfeeding my baby after long day at work, is such happiness! And even if Harris already fed as I reach home, he still wants me to breastfeed him. I guess he misses my golden touch and he just wants me there beside him. And that feeling rendered me, WHAT WORK? Workload, shitty colleague, everything fades away.

And Harris doesnt deserve the moody me. He survived day by day without me alongside him, understands my working hour. And what would Harris feel then seeing me coming back home being mad? Its unfair, right? No one deserve to be treated unfairly, inequality.

HOW CAN YOU RESIST THIS ANYWAY?????

Thank you Harris. For being such a great baby. Who understands our workload, our working hours, our time. We would always make time for you. Spend time with you. Always.

Of husband's puffy-morning-face & Harris's what? face 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥

Harris is 4 months

So yesterday Harris got an appointment in KK to check on his weight. This month got no vaccination. Actually it was husband's turn to be on leave to take him but too bad his boss rejected his leave. So its me then. You know when dealing with infants, alone, its kinda hard. But I have to learn and handle him. We both do that. Back when Harris was ill and have to be taken to the clinic, I was unwell too, so Fir took him to the clinic all by himself. This needs teamwork of course. Since Harris is fully breastfeeding, I make sure that before he went to clinic, he is fully breastfeed so he wont be asking for more for about 2 hours. But we also cant predict that because during that time, Harris was having sore throat and he keep wanting for milk most of the time. But alhamdulillah, Harris has always been a very good baby though. Like super duper good and behaving well most of the time. Even when he's not feeling well and wanting milk, he'll just whine a bit. No heavy crying. Even if got, it happens like few times only.

Anyways, so yesterday I have to take Harris to clinic, alone. Well, its not my first time though. Its not that husband didnt want to help, but his work demand is unpredictable. So yeah. So I am going to share few tips to handle infants, especially when you're on your own and of course, KK kan, the queue is always long. 

For Harris's appointment, I always take evening shift. Because I can go early and get an early number. If I opt for morning appointments, I have to wait until Harris wakes up, get him shower and get him ready whatsoever and I'll only be able to reach clinic at 8am and god knows by then the queue is long already. And if I take evening shift, I can always finish my work before lunch and take half day. 

So for yesterday, around 12.30pm, I drive home and reach around 1.00pm. And by the time I reach home, Harris was asleep after milk. So I prepared all the stuff. 

To bring list: 

1. Pampers. Because nurse would want to weigh the baby and the baby have to be naked. So you wouldnt want the baby to wear the same pampers right. Plus, if you're carrying infants, pampers is the essential thing to bring. 

2. Wet wipes. To wipe the butt. 

3. Nursing cover. Since Harris is fully breastfeeding, I have to be ready to feed him EVERYWHERE. And I dont buy my nursing cover. I use my large pashmina, have them pinned and customized it to cover while I am breastfeeding. Saves cost! Because nursing cover retails for RM40+ and why buy when you can use other alternatives? Buying also no problem. Hehe

4. Milk. I pump my milk daily. I havent start feeding Harris with formula milk just yet. I bring extra in case Harris wants it and if there are no proper place to breastfeed or the number came up early etc etc. We just have to be prepared. 

5. Pacifier. Some people would say pacifier is bad because it'll ruin your childs teeth development whatsoever but research expands and market sells many pacifier that is well-tested. And I need this because Harris usually wants to nyonyot on something after milk while he's still mamai. I never actually gave my baby pacifier. But during his time in hospitals, they have to give him pacifier since he cant be fed and just to mimics the act of him latching. 

6. Baby hip carrier. Harris now weighs 7.5kg and I couldnt carry him single handed. And I need both hands when it comes to handling him alone. To reach my car keys, to open the door, to reach for his book and whatnot. So carrying him in a carrier is very helpful. 

7. Baby carrier/rocker. I cant drive with him on my lap right? I alternate the usage of baby carrier and car seat. Depends on the journey. Since KK is just few 3 minutes away from my house, so I opt for baby carrier. I wanted to just walk though but I dont want Harris to be under the sun most of the time because he tends to become easily dehydrated. Its like the sun dries him up real quick. Hahaha. 

And its soooo hard to find parking spot at the clinic area so I have to come early. I usually go 15 minutes early so I have time to spare for 2nd round in finding nearby parking space. And praying hard it wont rain. 

So in order for me to carry all this stuff, I only use one bag. And not back packs. Shoulder bag is a lot easier to reach for stuffs. And I put all my stuffs along with Harris's stuff. My phone is placed inside Harris's hip carrier. They have zipped compartment so its easier. 

1st tip. Always come early. Got a nearby parking, get an early number, can go home early too.

2nd tip. Before I put Harris in the hip carrier, I make sure all the important stuffs - appointment book, phone, pacifier is within reach. So I can just reach it with one hand. 

3rd tip. After I handed the book to the nurse, I waited for my name to be called. While waiting, I only stand up somewhere near the aircond (KK tends to have bad ventilation though, i mean my place kot because its always crowded), still carrying Harris in the baby carrier. Until we got our number, only then I settle down. Open the hip carrier, and if Harris wants milk, I would feed him etc. If you do before you get your number, when your name being called, you tend to rush. So be safe. They usually take longer time before your number being called up so that's when you feed the baby. Settle down. 

And alhamdulillah, Harris has always been a good baby. And senang dipujuk. 

Thats how I survived going to the clinic alone. Based on my experience la. I mean, being a mother, you kinda have to be very observant. Check the easiest possible routes etc. And most mothers would bring strollers to the clinic but KK in my place is not suitable for it. But its a different story in HUKM. I have experience going to HUKM alone too, I mean only in the clinic alone. And this one, unavoidably you need extra hand. Depends on the place. Might share it later. 

So thats my tips. And if you have any extra tips to share, mind sharing with me? I am still a newbie mother and still loads to learn. My sharing is subjective to my situation and might differ in other people's situations. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥ 

Months ago

You know how in some moments, you just want to give up? But people would say, look back to say, 3 months of 6 months ago, how was life back then? How was I during that time?

6 months ago, I am still carrying Harris in my tummy. Still thinking where I want to have labour. Still thinking of my financial crisis. Fir's still trying to find a job. Surviving with his part time job salary. And me, having TOO MUCH negative thinking. 6 months ago, I am struggling. Emotional meltdowns. The thought of having baby scares me. New mother's dilemma. And will I ever be able to love my baby unconditionally. Everything. And see where I am now?

LOVING EVERY SECONDS SPENT.

I feel very occupied. Barely have time for any negative thinking that usually comes when I am idling. Which I would rather spend time staring at my baby and seeing Fir so good at handling Harris (but still have loads to learn), I feel blessed. Everyday Harris get to see his grandparent & uncles aunties too. Especially Asu. I am blessed. Alhamdulillah. I couldnt be any more thankful.

Compared to other people, of course my life would be described as, decent. No traveling, no adventure, just simple. But if you stop comparing, and focus on your life, you would feel more contented and grateful.

Its just a matter of time before things will slowly fall in place. 6 months ago, I never thought my life would be better. After all the hardships, ease will come after. In sha Allah.

May everything we do in life will benefit us in the hereafter. In sha Allah.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥

My skin type

Remember I was wondering what is my skin type? So I figured it out already. I have eczema, I have sensitive skin. Previously I thought I am no longer have sensitive skin. I mean, for facial skin. But turns out, it still is. I missed out the itchy category in identifying my skin. Everytime I tried new products, I would feel a bit itchy but no distinct or obvious redness. And I usually experience itchiness on my nose, but I feel like its normal for me since I have resdung and always allergic to dust. Different environments would make me itch and runny nose. And now, when I tried using products, I would focus on the itchy feeling and redness on my face. And I have separated few skincare that I cant use. I always hated the icky and sticky feeling on my face, especially during the night. So thats why my main choices would be a lightweight ones. And I've changed a bit on my routines that I think (?) shows a bit of positive changes.

You know, you cant expect drastic positive changes when it comes to using natural products. The good effect often come slowly and unnoticed. But since I have a sensitive skin, I really opt for natural products. I still can take a bit of chemicals though. Like low percentage of it. My face can take it.

Anyway, so now I've separated few skincare that I cant use, I am still thinking on what to do. Prolly gave it away. Idk. I need space for my skincare wishlists. I've been wanting to buy the mandelic acid toner from wishtrend but dealing with sensitive skin, you gotta be very careful on what you put on your face. Chemical exfoliators, chemical sunscreen, etc are something people with sensitive skin should be aware of. Some could take it, some couldnt. And in my case, I think I could? But now that I am breastfeeding, there are few chemical actives I couldnt take. Eventhough mandelic acid is an AHA, and bf moms can use AHA, I still have to discipline on my skincare routines. Juggling work and a baby is really making myself very occupied, and forgetful over my skincare routines. I have to be careful in using actives because my skin would be over-sensitive to sunlight and I have to use sunscreens and what if I forgot? It will definitely hurt my skin even more. So now, I opt for only physical sunscreens. But dangg I really wanted all this tiny bumps, acne on my chin, on my nose, to go away. I want obvious results :'( But I know I have to discipline myself first. No cheating.

My main focus now would be getting rid of all these tiny bumps and acne. After that, skin texture. I dont want this kawah-kawah already. Sobs.

And I've been dying to go to saloon. My hair loss is really no joke man. They said its hormones. I gotta deal with it, but seeing my serabai hair, breaks my heart.

I need a hair treatmenttttttt. And why am I blogging instead of doing work? I have loads of work, piled up but my dekstop was being formatted before CNY and up until now I havent been linked to my printer. I need to print letterhead and issue letter. I have so much to do. But that IT technician guy cant do it and he just left without leaving me any notice. And up until now, I cant use my printer. Haihhhhh. They even took days to set up my server email. Really annoying though. Really really annoying.

I just cant wait until 6pm to go home and enjoy my weekend! As if....

I miss my baby boy. He's still a bit unwell due to sore throat but he's doing okay. No meragam apa. Just fine. And quiet. I miss youuu so much baby boy. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥

Harris's akikah

It was soooo last minute plans though but alhamdulillah I manage to get everything ready on time. With the door gifts, Harris's outfit, all the raw materials, for cooking since we only ask the caterer to cook the kambing and nasi, other lauk is on our own. Kata melayu, rewang-rewang la. Alhamdulillah, everybody was very helpful. And I manage to tick MOST of the to do list on time. Too bad most of my friends unable to come because it was a long holiday. Alhamdulillah, fir's family manage to come down to KL to attend the akikah. Well, of course they matters most. It was just a simple ceremony, for Harris and doa selamat by Ustaz Muazzin. What matters most is the health of my baby, in sha Allah. I didndt to capture loads of pictures though. Too bad. But here's a few photos of the ceremony.

Harris's outfit from instashop mycomel.com.my

#saujaniansisters 

Tuan Haji Harris Mikael. Amin.

Our outfit during solemnization. 

Thanks to everyone that came. And I apologized for those who I fail to extend my invites. My guest list was very limited. But I appreciate all prayers and warm wishes to my little family. 

On Sunday, well, we all so tired out. But since my family in law is in town, we wanted to take them around KL. But Harris was asleep. Its been a tiring day for him yesterday and waking him up is the last thing we want to do. So husband went to pick them all up and take them around KL using public. They were having so much fun though. I also have wedding invitations but sadly I couldnt attend. 

Yeappp, I know they had so much fun on that. Hahaha.

So around 3pm, husband's back, and we went out to help them check out from the homestay. Also, need to find food. Hahaha. So after sending them, we went to Pavilion since I want to go Innisfree to redeem my new sample kit. First, lunch? But it was 6pm already. Of course la dins. We had Chir Chir Fusion. The price was a bit expensive but sedaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppp. 

Yeap, my bareface. I would just use my skincare and sunscreen and definitely good to go. Baju pun pakai shirt je. So lazy one. And of course, Zira fourth-wheeling. My main purpose to Pavilion was to collect sample kit but too bad it ran out of stocks. Sobs. But they said they are going to restock. Hopefully, I'll get it. Because their sample kit are the ones I've been aiming. 

And I managed to score few wishlists. 

Been aiming to get Dr Belmeur moisturizer since I've heard good reviews about it. And it only cost RM106 for 120ml. So worth it. Compared to my previous moisturizer, Klairs which cost me RM100+ for only 60ml :( So for me, this one is a good deal. Klairs moisturizer is amazing though! And the clay mask I've been wanting to get also. I have enlarged pores so in order to minimize the look the of it, I have to keep my pores clean. So yeah. And I got the Jeju Bija kit for free. But too bad I cant use it since it have salicylic acid, I cant use it. Because I am currently breastfeeding my baby. Its something that is very advisable to avoid. And since my skin is sensitive and acne prone, and one of the good actives for it is salicylic acid but I have to look for other actives that is safe for bf moms. 

How was Dr Belmeur? Good! I love it. Its very lightweight. Since I have sensitive skin, I am really particular to what I am applying to my skin. I patched test it that night, and tried it the next morning (dgn syarat, no irritations). Used it and goshhhh no itchinesssssss at all. And no greasiness. I just love it. Been using it for 4 days now. Looking forward for more! The clay mask, love it too. Since it doesnt cause itchiness or anything, and my face feels softer after washing. Doesnt feel tight or greasy. Just nice. Definitely a good score! And I got few sample kits to try. Really looking forward for it. Since now I am still looking for a toner. Currently using Simple gel cleanser and toner. And really good for sensitive skin. No irritations at all. Might want to stick to it and spend more on serums and essence. Hahah we'll see. 

Anyways, I am currently doing some experiments. Since I quite doubting on the pH of my current cleanser, I switched to Simple gel cleanser which is without doubt, a low pH cleanser. And I want to see what difference does it make to my skin. I am still waiting for distinct effects. Its been 2 weeks already but nothing changes. But the feeling of using gel cleanser is better and softer. Acne? I still have 'em under my lips and around my nose area. I really wanted to use chemical exfoliator though. But still doing research on which can be used as I am currently breastfeeding my baby. 

But this is definitely in my top wish lists! 

Photo courtesy of google 

Been aiming for this one for quite some time now. And I wanted to try TO lactic acid too. I really want to get rid of this acne though.  My aim is to clear my face from acne first, then I am going to move on to fading my scars, blemishes and re-texture my facial skin. A lot of research need to be done and all this aint cheap guys. 

So gotta work hard for it. Okayyyy now gotta get back to work. I am so bad at blogging now. I bore myself so much. Hahaha. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥