Life at 36 weeks.

 I am 2 days away from being mature for labor and all of the sudden, things feel so heavy. Honestly, I havent been really prepared for labor or even for this pregnancy. Its pandemic and I just recently got let go from work. Safe to say, we're quite financially tight. I just got back from my 36 weeks scan and baby is looking good, and I've lost weight which probably due to me fasting. 

I am having dilemma over place to give birth because my initial plan was for government hospital but until the end, I just couldnt prepare myself mentally for enduring such pain alone, handling baby alone, and not having my husband by my side during labor. It's just something I am unable to digest yet. Two days left and I am down to the only option which is government hospital, something I am never prepared for

Husband begged me to find other hospitals so he could accompany me. I guess he knows me too well. I cant be laboring alone. But forking out nearly 5k just for that reason sounds insane to me, looking at our financial state. 

I just feel quite a burden today. I feel like a weight is on my shoulder and my chest, grasping facts that I am gonna be a mother of two soon enough. I dont want to give birth yet. I am just not ready. 

My early stage of pregnancy was horrible. My mental state was declining and just when I thought I am starting to recover, I am being beaten down again. This feels too much and I am doing my thesis just to forget things but when the baby kicks, its just back to reality. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. 

Saturday Favorites

Ever since I resigned and becoming a full time housewife, some things have been improving and some things are not. But most of the time, I am pretty much relaxed and amazed at the amount of time and activities that I am able to enjoy. 

Skin Condition 

My facial skin condition have been improving by a lot. Also because my pregnancy hormone towards the third trimester is going on so well on facial skin but not on my eczema. However, eczema subsided nowadays and I am focusing on reducing scars because heck, having fair skin makes everything looks obvious. 

Grocery Shopping 

I get excited going to the supermarket as early in the morning because of less crowd. Shopping groceries alone is such a therapy too (ever since Harris enrolled in kindergarten). 

New L-shaped Sofa 

My new sofa is so comfy, I dont get pissed anymore. But my living room is quite crowded with all the baking things on the new business I am venturing. As for now, I am still satisfied with the arrangement. After I send Harris to school, I will always allocate an hour or two just to tidy up the house so it will always look neat. 

House Things 

Buying things for the house excites me more than buying things for myself because it is so pleasing to the eyes to see everything organized. 

Tupperware Casserole Pot

Been eyeing for it for quite some time and now that it's here, I cant wait to use it! I just wish I have more kitchen cabinet space so I could unbox it. 

New Living Room Curtain from Kaison 

Ever since I bought my first curtain from Kaison, I have never seen others. I mean, choosing curtain is always quite hard for me, but choosing ready made ones are even easier, so why not! I changed it for welcoming Ramadhan since I need a bit of change. 

My mental health have been declining for the past months (which explains the sudden withdrawal from social medias and reduced blogging hours), so I've been changing quite a lot of things around the house just to get a different vibes and starting to do things differently. And welcoming Ramadhan! 

What did you do differently this Ramadhan? 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. 

Urm hello?

 Funny how I've been blogging regularly and all of the sudden, it stops. I've been juggling with quite a lot of things lately. I've ventured into new business while enjoying my semester breaks and still going on. Well, most reasonable reason would be I've no purpose of turning on my laptop so the blogging stops as well. As for today, I have an online meeting with my supervisor for my Master's Project so instead of revising my thesis, here I am blogging.

I am entering my 36th week of pregnancy, Harris enrolled in kindergarten at 4 y/o, so I kinda enjoyed my time being solo for a while by doing chores and all. Clean house makes me happy. I am fasting but I dont think I'll be able to continue for today because suddenly I feel quite unwell. Probably because I'm too tired and not getting enough vitamins and rest for quite some time. 

Anywayyyy, the house next to me is doing renovations and they've been drilling for almost a week already and it gives me headache. I thought the drilling stops already because it's been quite yesterday and maybe they wont be drilling during my online meeting. But I guess not. 

For someone that has experience working in construction, I hate hacking and drilling work the most. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M.