Overwhelmed

You know there are days I feel like a total jerk and asshole? I feel like it almost everyday. I am trying a new routine I cant even keep up. Heck, I cant even get my ass awake at 6.30am. I cant even find a job. I dont even know if I wanted to work. I dont know what to do. Being a housewife is tired as shit. Especially when Harris throws a tantrum and Hannah wanted a lullaby for nap, AT THE SAME TIME. Apart from that, I have to sit down looking at all the mess Harris made while being a monster and suddenly he's a firefighter. I cant help but to yell every single time he poop in his pants because that's the only part of potty train that he has yet to master. And it's going to be no water supply for 3 days and I am surely gonna cuss so hard if he pooped. It's tiring. 

I need money. I need a job. I bake but hey, nobody's ordering. I make stickers and I dont even know how to start printing and selling. But really, maybe I'll be doing digital stickers and sell them at very low price because it's easier that way. I am still collecting ideas and continue doodling on until I get fair amount of stickers worthy of selling. Because you know, you can get most stickers on Pinterest for free (raises hand bcs im guilty as well). I am still learning how to make digital planners too because we can sell that too. 

It's Monday and Harris skip school again. I am so pissed off this morning and I am pretty sure the whole block knows, I am THAT mother who shouts.

These two cuties are my treasure and I wish I could be the best mother for them. It's a struggle everyday but I am trying. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. 

The Other Side of Me

I've always loved doodling, writing in my diaries and making such childish arts. Never really good at it though but just for fun and its not entirely artsy. I love crayons, watercolor & all sorts of things. It helps to calm me down whenever I feel so down. The reason of me having all my arts thingy, felt paper, washi tapes, colored paper all that. 

And then I do less doodling. I'm just that gloomy. I just played around with Canva for my logo making and promotions. Which doesnt really excites me. And then I come across this one app, Procreate which allows me to doodle and actually made something out of it. I purchased Procreate Pocket for my iPhone but I am not enjoying it as much because I dont have the right pencil/stylus for it. 

And that is when I got an iPad. Been surveying it for quite a while, on which iPad will work well with Procreate because its quite a heavy apps. Well, its from Autodesk, so of course. I bought iPad Air 4. I was planning to get iPad Pro but I am afraid of investing too much and end up doing nothing. So I got myself something cheap but reasonable option for it. Along with apple pencil. So now, I only use the iPad only for Procreate. I love it. It feels like I am bringing my doodle to life. 

I am still learning on utilizing the apps 100% and I am not bored of it for now. I mean, I get blockage at times but I sleep on it and continue again. Sleep gets me inspired. I always have things I want to doodle everyday and I am happy because I have the right tools and apps for it, alhamdulillah. 

I just need someone to find ways to make money out of it. Lol. I have so many ideas I dont know which to start first. Rompers, bookmarks, stickers, journal stickers. I just hope someone else can do it for me. I just want to doodle. Haha. 

This is the other side of me that I am trying to bring out. It's always been inside of me. Who knows what future holds for this other side of me. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M.