Life choices

The day have come when I realized I have no further life plans. I mean, in a way, its good, you're just following the flow and see where it takes you. But I dont really think going with the flow gonna help with your financial future plans. And that means, more kids, schools, etc. I mean, we cant keep living like this. Years go by. I aint getting younger. It's just.......

Probably its just hormones. (I'm pms-ing btw, so..)

My semester ended and all I'm doing now is house chores and cook. I'm loving every single second being a housewife, but realistically, I got a mouth to feed and I have all the capabilities to work. Putting everything onto my husband seems a bit off and unfair when I know I can do more. But he said he felt so much better coming home from work and us greeting him. It makes him happy. I'm glad. But I would be so glad if I could give more....

Well, it's the day that I've become so productive in house chores and completed everything and then I dont know what else to do and I am boredddddd. It's Saturday night and I dont know what to do. I cant sleep for several nights already and god knows why. Overthinking........

Maybe I should start looking for jobs but its just that I dont think that I'm ready. I just couldnt figure out what I want to work. Or what kind of jobs I'm looking for. Maybe I'm just sick of working in my previous industry. Missing it? Kinda, a bit. But sick of it, 101% positive. 

I'm turning 30 next year and I dont know whether I'm in the right path and picking the right life choices. I dont know. I'm clueless but I'm just demotivated (-in looking for jobs).

But I know, do good, be good, and everything will fall into place. In sha Allah. 

Everytime I ask him whether he wants siblings and his answer is always a straight up no. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M.