Anyway, after those incidents (refer previous post), I am becoming so much careful with whatever I'm gonna say. I used to say things to hurt people, to hurt myself, and something so negative. But right now, I am being extra careful. Truly an eye opener.
We got up around 4.30am this morning because husband is on leave since he's going fishing with my brother, Angah and his friends early. I continue sleeping a bit after he left and wake up around 6.30am which is considered early, compared for the past weeks. So this is really a good improvement for myself. After I showered, Harris wakes up. He usually doesnt wake up until at least I finish my morning skincare routine but y'know kids, they're unpredictable. So this morning, I managed everything myself. Clear the kitchen, prepare my lunch, empty the trash can, drove Harris to the nanny, drove myself to work and alhamdulillah, I am able to reach the office quite on time. Because y'know, for the past days and weeks, we will only get out from the house around 8am and I usually reach office nearly 8.30am and yea, its bad. Office working hours starts at 8.15am.
Someone is having his 'me' time. As much as a mother needs her own time, I guess dad's need it too. Well, I need to plan sometime for my 'me' time then. Hahaha.
I was feeling quite okay? Yea, I am. I feel a bit talkative today. Since I've been moody for past days, including all those panic attack and all yea. So my mood's a bit lifted today. Also that my mom have been calling me everyday and few times in a day, just to check on myself. My husband starting to pay much more attention to me since he's afraid that I might gone nuts again. Its not that he havent been giving me attention though, its just a conflict with myself and he started to understand, alhamdulillah. Or probably because I wasnt too grateful before that now, when I started to realize all the little things, I feel much calmer. Also chanting that MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING every now and then to keep myself in check.
Its scary how financial problems can fill your life with negativity, depressing yourself and all. And I should never ever let that thing into my way to achieve goodness in life. There's always a reason for everything and Allah's answer to prayers are never a no. Its a YES or He'll give something better. And I have to believe that whatever happens is for a reason, good reason.
Missing this little boy a little extra today.
My hip hop baby.
And yes, I'm feeling a bit extra too yesterday that I feel the need to build up my confidence so I took few selfies.
I still need to change my specs though because this one was given by my colleague which doesnt fit my power exactly. Its supposed to be temporary though but I havent got the chance to make new one yet. But definitely need to. I was at the masjid that time, after Maghrib prayer.
Okay, so I'm off to perform Asar prayer and get ready to go home!
Wasalam. Love, Nina M.
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