Subjective.

I admit, I was a horrible person before. Always questions people's rezeki, advantages & their ways of handling obstacles, hurdles whatnot. After I got pregnant, I had quite terrible sickness and I started to realize that even if our obstacles seems similar, doesnt mean we have similar ways of encountering it. Example; by means that, if me and some other pregnant girl experience sickness, but I can handle it better than her, I cant simply say that, "eh this girl cant even handle sickness. I can, why cant she?"

God forbid!

Subjective. We all have our ways and different people have different pain threshold. You cant expect all the same. Maybe I have higher pain threshold and that girl aint. And maybe she have other sickness like low hb, low bp etc that weakens her even more.

Like I said, example.

So previously I always question why ahh this girl cant even go to work while pregnant, why ah this girl cant even be grateful that you dont work that hard but still weak and yada yada yada yada. Damn, I was cruel. But then I come to realize that, it's all subjective. How so? When I was in labor, the pain was excruciating and I had to take epidural because I couldnt handle the pain. I am scared that people might see me as a weak person. Because I cant even handle labor pain, I mean because other people do. My mom did, all 7 children! And that's when I come to realize that I am scared because I always judge people that do. I mean, I dont directly judge people who take epidural, but generally, I judge people. And I am so scared of people judging me.

Since then, I always remind myself and husband that we all may experience the same obstacles, but if we can, doesnt mean they can too. I mean, of course they can, eventually, but not in the same way we did, probably with a bit of help.

Similarly, I handled labor pain, but with a bit of help from epidural. Other people might handle labor pain with normal painkiller or no painkiller at all. I needed a bigger kick of help.

My point is, dont judge people just because they have their ways of handling things. Guidance and telling people what to do is a two different things. When they ask for advice, you dont tell them what to do, you guide them of what's best to do. Because probably our ways of doing doesnt suit them, so we let them decide by guiding and enlighten them on the consequences and whatnot.

Just because they dont follow directly what you said, doesnt mean that their ways is wrong. Give space for learning.

Just because you have a lot of children, doesnt mean that we need to have a lot of children to learn about life. No. Some people learn so much from one children. Some people learn from a lot of children. Dont equalize everyone. Just because you learn it the hard way, you expect everyone to. No.

I know that whatever I'm experiencing now is kifarah from my previous wrongdoings to other people, I know. And I am facing it. But its also my responsibilities to educate others about it too.

And I hope this phase will end soon.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥