Harris is 7 months, today.

But sadly, he caught fever 2 days before. It was on Monday 21st May 2018 when we realized his body was heated up. Very. So we told Kakna to give him some cough syrup because he was caught coughing few days before. And his behavior of regular milk demand (more than the usual) screams the fact that he's having sore throat. But before we could go to work, (its husband's first day at work too so we have everything planned out), Harris seems very cranky and he was flaring. Literally. So I said I'm going to take Emergency Leave since Harris was being very clingy. Husband still have to go to work since its his first day. On that day, he was still active. Just a bit crying here and there, but bearable. I still continue breastfeeding him and fasting. On that day too, he was having a bit of diarrhea. His bottoms turns reddish due to regular pooing. But no bloated tummy or anything.

That morning, I took him to the clinic because he started wheezing and a bit of vomiting. . Wheezing indicates that he have phlegm inside his lung, so doctor gave him neb and his lung was okay after. So I really suspected nothing bad. Doctor said his mild vomiting might be due to inflamed throat.

Towards the evening, he started vomiting regularly, mostly after every feeding. Which we are so scared of this. Well, why? Because of his intestinal malrotation. After operation, the surgeon did mention that there's still a possibility of it re-occur again. We just have to watch out for the symptoms. But I am still very positive about it because of the previous clinic visits and his vomit is white-ish. Not yellow-ish. That night, Harris doesnt show any positive progress. His temperature just keep spiking up and wont go lower than 37 degree. But we waited because we just got the meds this morning.

3am, I slowly get Harris to wake up to give him meds. And he was crying. Well of course. He was quite weak the whole day. But still a bit promising conditions since he can still play around. And then I breastfeed him. Before he could digest, he vomit everything out. And then, again, he vomited yellow-ish fluid (just like before he suspected of malrotation). Husband quickly said, get up, we're going to the hospital, NOW. So I called my mom to inform her and we shoot to HUKM (place where he had his operations). The surgeon said in case he showed any symptoms of it, straight away bring him to HUKM emergency. And so we did. During that time, his lungs were not clear. So the doctor neb him again & he was brought to x-ray to check on his tummy.

And it was 6am. Boy, how sleepy we are.

Alhamdulillah, the x-ray was clear. The doctor said the same like in his previous clinic visits. Harris vomited due to his inflamed throat. At HUKM, Harris was really active. So the doctor didnt suspect anymore further. He was discharged.

We reached home, feeling so lethargic, Harris's body started to heat up, again. He doesnt like cool fever, he tend to brush it off. So I wet few towels and wrap it around Harris's body. And then left him with Kakna because I cant afford taking another EL. Husband also, because he had to take half day on the second day of his new job.

I got home that evening, Harris was still feverish. Kakna said there's one time his temperature spiked up until 39 degree which is worrying. So I continued wrapping him with wet towel. It gets dry very fast too. Harris started showing symptoms of short of breath, wheezing and his breathing was loud. So later that night, we went to Rampai Puteri to neb him. But the doctor said, he has no more phlegm in Harris's lungs, but his pulse were fast, breathing loudly, temperature isnt that very promising even after medication. So he gave us a refer letter to the hospital.

I was tired wey. I just cant handle the stress. You know how bad I can be when I cant clean my room because Harris's being super clingy. So I was quite stress. Lethargic from the day before is still havent recover and now this. Such a bad mother I am. I really have to watch out whatever I said, some things I never meant to say but that big ass ego always wins over me. Haihhh.

I really dont know where I want to take Harris anymore. I mean, he had few records in few hospitals. And I am too tired to think. We went home, packed his stuff, and the clock hits 12am. Damn I just wanted to hit the bed so hard. But Harris is still crying. He looks restless, uncomfortable. Pity him. Big ass ego amalina, such a bad mother, I cant stand looking at Harris being so ill. We went to Hospital Ampang & got him checked. He had his x-ray (for his chest) and blood test to check for lung infection. It is because his temperature is still very high & he seems very weak due to vomiting. We had all those tests finished around 3am. 3am guys...... In between that, of Harris being restless, crying. Waiting with a sick crying baby is definitely not good guys. If you cant handle the situation with strong mental, get your husband to help you guys or anyone. I am saying because I know how it feels, being alone too.

And the doctor said, his blood result will come out in 2 hours........and we cant even go home :((

Harris was already so tired. He's weak, sleepy, hungry, and very much cranky. So I told husband lets wait in the car which is still inside the hospital compound so I could breastfeed him and we both could get an hour sleep. We did, and then around 5am, we went back into the clinic. Our number being called, sleepy face and all, we went to see the doctor. Alhamdulillah, no lung infection. Just his platelet reading is a bit high due to his inflamed throat which is an infection.

All three of us was literally smacked. So tired! And we arrived home around after sahur time. All we need is bed but Harris is still crying. So I breastfeed him and put him to sleep. Oh boy it felt like 5 minutes that we had a nap and the clock for subuh starts to ring which was put to snooze for how many time god knows. An hour passed & we startled up around 7am.

And here I am, at work. Husband too. Still trying to open up our eyes. Damn we're so sleep deprived. I already explained to Kakna on his medication schedule and I hope his fever will subside in few days. Harris is supposed to have his vaccination today and its my turn taking him but since he's down with fever, there's no point taking him to the clinic because he wont get vaccinated when having fever.

My guess would be Harris is somewhat malay saying deem, beralih bulan. He's 7 months today. Some babies caught fever during that time. So I guess Harris's definitely is.

This is Harris, climbing from his baby cot. Cant no longer put him there, alone. Until we lower down the cot so he wont reach the railing. He havent start on crawling yet, but more to mengengsot. Even so, he's fast. 

On Monday, when he would cling to me like a koala. All the time. 

His lips is chapped. And bleed. Which make him cry even more. And we worry so much that we wrapped his whole head and body with several wet towels because his temperature is too hot. You know how high fever will have negative impact of babies. 

And there's me, still feeling very lethargic and pretty much the time I captured this photo is the time I didnt yawn (see how I tried smiling while holding the yawn in). With the un-ironed shawl, baggy jeans & half-crumpled work uniform. I think my Carlo Rino made a better statement than me.

Harris, your 7 months birthday is just so, memorable. (Aside than your less than one month birthday during your operation). Thanks for blessing us with such experiences. We will take this as a room for us to learn as a parent, to always take such good care of you and your future siblings. Of course, we as a first time parent, always want to bring you to the clinic, even for the littlest sickness. And not for the first time too, baby's are fragile. And from them, they hold so much knowledge in which we can learn.

So husband, are we ready for number two? Couple more years to prepare.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M.