Sick days and still at it now.

Taking care of a sick baby really is tiring is definitely an understatement. But here's an unpopular opinion; taking care of a sick baby while being sick is 2 times harder! I've been having headaches for few days before, I assume its due to my lack of rest and flu, and yesterday was, well thats it, MC it is. Harris falls sick two days before, which also a contributing factor to my lack of rest and being sick afterwards. So yesterday, Harris's temperature was a bit too high and worrying as he become less active and then I'm starting to feel quite feverish. So I told my husband that I need to take MC because Harris clings to me most of the time and I also need rest. Well, I was wrong for the latter reason. I went to the clinic to take meds while husband at home taking care of Harris. He went to work a bit late because I dont want to be walking to the clinic with Harris. I'm afraid that I will collapse. My body temperature was 37.5 and ever since I start getting headache, I didnt consume any meds like Panadol or anything because I have to be very careful since I am still breastfeeding my baby. Doctor gave me few pills that is safe for breastfeeding moms. Its very crucial to enclose information regarding that to your doctor so he/she could prescribe you with the right medicine and safe ones. 

Back home, husband went to work, and left us, two sick person together. You know, we both should be like weak or barai together but this boy, after I gave him his meds, his temperature subsides and he started playing around. And I thought, well yea its a good sign I should do my chores now and I thought wrong.... 

Harris still clings to me. He doesnt want to left his side, ever. He would want me just lie down next to him while he plays around with his toys. Even if he's occupied, once I make a move, he whines and cries. I cant sleep either. But it cringes me seeing all those unwashed clothes, unwashed dishes, empty water jar, messy house with scatters of Harris's biscuit crumbs all over the place, dang it. I cant do anything about it. 

You know he should be sleeping or resting or just play on his own, but you see that mischievous face? Looks like he's planning something, so much hidden agenda....

I was doing everything in rush, I mean, I have to. Cooks his porridge nicely but he doesnt want to eat. He only wants to eat biscuits. But well, better than none. I know I should be resting too but I want to cook something for me to have brunch but this boy just wont let me to. So the drama continues until around 3pm+ because Zira came to my house which also for the first time, Harris finally sleeps. But only for 15 minutes, oh bummer. 

There he is, knocking on the kitchen door looking for Asu. He's definitely in a good mood when Asu is around. 

I whatsapp-ed her that morning telling her that I am home and so tired. Later in the afternoon, she came and prepared some pancakes for me and at 4pm is my first meal of the day. I had a cup of black coffee then my tummy starts grumbling and last thing I know, I am inside the toilet, diarrhea. Thank god Zira could take good care of Harris while I'm at it. Then I got a bit of energy so I cooked dinner and bathe Harris. Then me & Zira take turns to pray and I let Zira have dinner before she went home. If not for her, I would be feeling miserable seeing the house so bersepah and moody all day. 

By late evening, I am so out of energy. My husband went back late so I put Harris to sleep (even if its for just a good 15 minutes). Husband is finally home around 7+ and boy I feel so relieved. We take turns to pray and dinner and play around with Harris. After dinner, I was so tired already. I went straight to bed without cleaning the kitchen and dining table. Oh boy I feel so cringe right now thinking of all the unwashed dishes and chores I didnt get to do.

Later that night, I startled up and pray Isya' then went straight to bed afterwards. It was not a long night sleep though. Harris keeps waking up crying because his body temperature spiked up to 39 degree and I have to be awake several times to cool him down. 

I know I cant whine but it irks me to know that I am unable to multitask, to do chores, to be able to keep everything clean. It pisses me off. And I know I cant fully 100% depends on my husband too as he's tired working. He helped me handling Harris and clean the table but gahhhh I should be doing all that. And everything is not so satisfying until I do it on my own. 

A throwback photo. Oh Harris, please get well soon. I miss seeing you so cheeky and can sleep soundly at night. 

And today, here I am in the office, lethargic, fatigue, looking so pale (according to my colleague), and all I need is sleep and I am starving like mad right now. 

I made coffee with my last chunk of sugar. I definitely need to remember to bring more sugar from home. Or buy new one for office. A black coffee should be an eye opener for me to finish my work but I dont know, it doesnt seem to be positively affecting me? The reason why I need to work today because yesterday several people already contacted me as they want to see me in the office. So I have to be in the office today. So Harris is with nenek ana, I called up to check on him and she said Harris is okay, temperature subsides after his meds and he ate a slice of bread. I hope he eats a lot because its hard to give him porridge yesterday. He also dont want to drink much of plain water but I checked he have no ulcer inside his mouth. No rashes around the lips, palm of the hand and foot either which is definitely a good sign in sha Allah. I still didnt take Harris out anywhere other than to the nanny and my parents house. Too paranoid mother I guess.

Anyways, it is soooo cold right now. I'm shivering hard and I feel like wanting to turn off the airconds but other people might not be experiencing cold like I am now. I really need sleep now. Huwaaaaaa. 

Okay, onto my work now. Wasalam. Love, Nina M.