The day I gave birth

The long overdue post. I kinda love blogging everything so I can keep everything recorded. And I love telling stories to people. Mak mak sangat.

Yes, I was 6 days overdue. My due was supposed to be on 17/10/2017. But, nope, nothing. I keep on having braxton hicks and contraction but it stops later during the night. By 40 weeks, my baby weighed 3.5kg already. So Dr. Zana Zalinda advised me to not have any heavy meals during the night. Because my baby's weight is gaining very fast. Tapi perut sentiasa lapar.... So during my 40 weeks check up, doctor gave me another 7 days. KK also issued out a letter that I need to be admitted on 23/10/2017. 7 days, contraction come and go. During this time, dr already issued out MC for 7 days. She and husband insisted me to not go to work anymore. Haihhhh boring k. So during that time, I do a lot of chores, went brisk walking, window shopping and still, nuuhhhhh. Yillekkk.

22nd October 2017. I was having this kind of nervous feeling. Why? Because I have a great feeling that the baby wont come out that day. And knowing that I am going to be admitted the next day and I will be induced if I am still only 2cm dilated with mild contraction. Its different. Because I have to make myself prepared. Mentally and physically. Whether I am strong enough. I dont know. A lot of mixed feelings. I cant sleep that night.

23rd October 2017. I woke up, after Subuh, had shower, went breakfast at Ali B. Still mixed feeling. I am so gonna miss the feeling of being pregnant. Went to the hospital. Checked in. Change attire. Preparing. Ahhhh scared! I asked my mom to come accompany me also. Since me and husband are both first timers and I really need my mom. While waiting for the doctor, I had my CTG. Still mild contraction. Doctor came and checked my opening. If I am more than 2 cm dilated, she would just broke my water to give a more brutal contraction. But no, I am still 2cm dilated. So, kne induce.

I dont know la but during checking my cervix opening, I was really not relaxed. Padahal selalu je kne seluk and by far, Dr. Zana Zalinda is really good at it, I mean, its just a mild discomfort. Sbb penah kne seluk dgn nurse and terkejut k. Pastu kne marah sbb angkat punggung. Sobs.

And then, I was induced by inserting pill inside my cervix. Dr Zana said I can calmly eat whatever I want until the contraction comes and become regular. I am also required to half lying down on my bed for at least one hour. After that, only then I can go to the toilet.

BUT

5 minutes after I was induced, I had my contraction. I begged mama & Firdaus to let me go to the toilet because I feel like pooping. But I cannottttt because of doctor's instruction. It was brutal, the pain. The effect comes much sooner that expected. It was 11am. In an hour, my contraction becomes so regular, to 5 minutes. And my lunch came. I tried eating but I puked everything out. Mama called the nurse because my contraction is getting regular, and the nurse came and give me painkillers. The pain subsided for a while. But it came back. I lost track of time. My contraction is still very regular up to 3 minutes. But thanks to the painkiller, I can still relax a bit. But not for long. I hugged mama so tight every time the contraction come, well thats how my mama clocked my contraction though hahahaha. Husband and mama massaged me, helped me with the pain and try to put some meal into my tummy so I could handle the pain better. But too bad, everything in, comes out in no time. Padahal dah breakfast tau.... During that time, Angah & Kakya came to visit also. The nurse strapped the CTG machine onto me again. She said the contraction is very regular up to 3 minutes. I cant really remember how many times I did the CTG. But I remember that after the CTG, the nurse checked my cervical opening but too bad its still 2-3cm. Because I didnt relax during the contraction. Akibat tak pegi class antenatal. And the nurse said, heartbeat baby is starting to get stressed out. And me too. I am becoming so weak. And little did I know, its nearly 5pm. I've been battling contraction for 6 hours. And still not fully dilated. I ran out of energy due to no meal and tiredness. Nurse said if I still want to battle contraction, I might have no energy later during labour, and might go into emergency operation. She suggested epidural. Adding the fact that I am still 2-3cm dilated. Husband said I looked so weak. Cant put any food into my tummy. Mama consulted Pak Usu (a doctor) and he said, epidural should be okay. Since both me and my baby's condition is pretty much stressed out.

5pm. I was taken to the labour room. Epidural in. Goshh the feeling is so much better. I have to lie down all the time. Husband's the only person that can accompany me. But when husband went downstairs to shower and pray, mama came in and teman me. I was strapped to the CTG machine. The contraction was really brutal. Even the nurses said its too regular and super strong. I was half asleep the whole time. And I kept on saying sorry to husband and mama because I have to opt for epidural. Another 1k for that. But husband said its okay. Because he couldnt stand seeing me like that.

From time to time, the doctor and nurse checked my cervical opening and its dilating really quick. By 7pm, I am already 9cm dilated. If only I relax during contraction, I would give birth already. I think? I dont know.

Under epidural, everything seems very relaxed. No more mild discomfort. No more pain. And even baby's heartbeat is normal. Husband said, what's important is the safety of me and the baby. Financial problem can be put aside. I can still feel the contraction, like the usual period pain after I had pain killer every month but I am totally relaxed. I can still feel my feet and lift it up. I think it depends on the dosage.

Around 8pm, they are prepping me for labour. But I was so weak. So husband feed me some kurma and bread and air zam zam. I need all the energy to push the baby out. I kinda lost track of time though. Hahaha. Since I cant really feel the contraction, they depends on the CTG machine to track my contraction and told me when to push. Yeap, we push during contraction. They taught me how to push, techniques what not. They strapped me up, lift my legs, and I was instructed to hold the metal bar on my bedside. (husbands should be thankful they have metal bars, if not, husbands hand would be broken.) and I was told when to push.

The pushing starts. Well not really. In my situation, more of like, me pulling the metal bar towards me. Because I cant feel that much of something and macam teran kosong je? I dont know. It was tiring. I had many pushes. Husband said the doctor had to tear my cervix a bit because my pushing is not strong. Eerie. Push push push. Supports from husband, nurses and I safely delivered a healthy baby boy at 8.59pm, weighing 3.6kg and height of 52cm. Nothing matters anymore. Baby's out. Healthy. Alhamdulillah.

During stitching, they were prepping my baby and that's when I suffocate. But my oxygen reading was normal. But I feel like suffocating. And started to vomit. Filled up 3-4 bags. Doctor said its the side effect of epidural. I was restless and I dont really know what they did. Probably because of my empty stomach. I fell asleep after that. I was lethargic. Around 10pm, I was pushed to my room. And they delivered the baby a while after. Mama forced me to eat but I fell asleep on the rice. All I want to do is sleep....

Baby came in. Name? We havent really figure it out. And husband said, Mohamad Harris Mikael. I like that...

I tried latching. It was hard :( Of course mama had to help. I fell asleep while breastfeeding. Haha.... And they all went back home. Me, husband & Harris. Our first night. It was hard too. Whatever it, we survived day 1 and we surely know it aint gonna be easy in the upcoming days. But I believe we're ready. In Sha Allah.

And after few meltdowns, Harris's operation what not, Harris is entering 3 months of life. I am liking this. I am loving all this. Coming home to Harris every single day is the thing I look forward to. One down, 6 more to go? Hahahahahaha k we'll see.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥