Afraid to hope

I've come to a point where I dont want to move forward in my life because I am afraid to hope and end up getting disappointed. I feel like I just want to stay unsuccessful or just this way because I am too afraid to hope or having some kind of hyped up feelings over something and get disappointed. I just cant handle rejection. Sucks being me. I am just too scared. 

The disappointment just reminds of what I could've done better, should've done better and just a total reminder of how useless I am. It's the same vicious cycle every time and I still didnt learn enough. I just hate myself for that. I am too old for this. Too old to be still battling with these inner (totally invalid) feelings because mature people wont have problems like this, huh?